Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He shit in the fireplace
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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