Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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