Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
