You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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