Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
