he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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