Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
