i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
