New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
