Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
