lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Panties = found
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