smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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