Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
