also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
