I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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