I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
