Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
