I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
