Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
