wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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