Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
