I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
