I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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