i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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