and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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