I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
