So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
