hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
