two words: eviction party
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
