Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
