We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
