I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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