gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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