Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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