Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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