Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
