He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
