I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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