Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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