he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My ass is underappreciated
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
