Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
