My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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