he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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