Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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