It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
