i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
