Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this just has baby written all over it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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