I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
