god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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