Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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