she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
