dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so let's talk penis.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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