You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
