I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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